King Of The Voyageurs

Once upon a time, there was a King. He ruled a summer kingdom on Canoe Lake. By monarchial standards, the Kingdom was small. The King didn't care; he was very proud of what he ruled. It was 1962.

Most Kings have palaces and the King of the Voyageurs was no exception. His palace was more rustic than most and small - very small - with a very low ceiling. It was known to his subjects as the "Hot Dog Stand".

The King had seven faithful Knights. He would like to have done the King's business with his Knights seated at a round table - he was a history buff. Unfortunately, the palace was too small for such a grand table. So, he and the Knights would stand about- crouched over - and discuss affairs of state - when they weren't playing hearts that is.

The Knights commanded seven small armies. Each army was fiercely loyal to its Knight and ultimately to the King.

Although the King would not expand his territory on Canoe Lake, he was allowed to explore beyond its borders. He dispatched his Knights to all corners of the vast neighbouring fiefdom known as Alqonquin Park.

On these excursions (the King called them canoe trips), some of his Knights were very inventive. They came up with fun and other diversions to keep their armies free from dissension. One creative Knight tried to convert a can of Raid into fireworks. He miscalculated the effect of open fire on this aerosol device: it exploded in his face. The observing army was much impressed with these pyrotechnics. So was the doctor who repaired the Knight's scalp wound.

The King was big on demonstrations of loyalty. He obliged his Knights and their armies into a daily ritual of early morning bathing. Made them smell better, too. Most days, this ritual was performed with mild indifference by both Knights and armies. But by late August, when the overnight temperatures fell into the middle 30's enthusiasm waned. The King offered a prize to the Knight and army with the best attendance - but he didn't identify the prize. The King was thrilled at the sight of his loyal subjects freezing not so silently to show their fealty. With great glee, the King granted the winners two dips on the coldest morning of the summer. It turned out the King didn't like "brown-nosers".

There were other rulers on Canoe Lake. None of them pretended to the title of King. To the King, they lacked ambition. The King interpreted this as a recognition of his rank. Although convinced of his superiority, the King commanded his subjects to show his power by competing with the armies of the other rulers every time the occasion presented itself.

There was concord among the rulers on Canoe Lake because there was a pact. The King and the other rulers agreed to send their minions into friendly competition. But each agreed that there would be no announced winner or loser. The King thought this was dumb. After all, life isn't like that.

One evening, just before the summer Kingdom ended in 1962, the King sent his subjects out for a war canoe race against the subjects of another ruler. The competition was bigger, stronger and older than the Voyageurs. Nonetheless, the King's team won - handily - much to their glee. They demanded acknowledgment of their victory.

To observe the custom, the announced result named no winner or a loser - just the colour of the winning boat. As the King's subjects were less enthusiastic about this pact than the King, they decided not observe it. At the first post race opportunity, the Voyageurs wafted a song to the ears of their competitors who passed nearby. The song addressed the other ruler in very unflattering terms and concluded with the words "...bunch of losers."

The taunt inspired the Knights and their armies but humiliated the King who had to explain himself to the other rulers. Secretly, the King was thrilled by this act of defiance - it made him feel superior, which of course he was. The King chided his subjects "Telling any ruler he is wearing no clothes is not done." Sure, King, sure!

The other rulers were suspicious of the King from then on. But, the summer Kingdom ended in a few days. All the rulers departed Canoe Lake. The King went on to rule a much bigger kingdom with more land, more knights and significant coin from buying and selling real estate. The King retained his title but modified it slightly to avoid giving offence. "Kingsway" - he mused - "has a nice ring". The King was thoughtful enough to omit the apostrophe.

As for the Knights, one built a playing field under cover to let the boys of summer play all winter. Another made a career of publishing books about damsels in distress. One, moved by some injustices outside the King's domain, became a ruler of Judges. Two others became advocates for errant Knights. Another built a giant hotdog stand before growing up and getting a real job. The last (and clearly smartest) Knight moved to a magic place where summer is endless and the sun is King.